Real Relationships bring you prosperity!
If you read part one first, I hope you have had time to think about your heart. What's in it and what you may be carrying. In this blog we will start with looking at how do we heal, surrendering our hearts and getting closer to becoming the truest version of our self.
First, lets discuss what areas of weakness or hidden areas that may be in our hearts that we need to address. This isn't a full list of areas, but it will help give you the idea of what I am writing about.
Not knowing ourselves.
Most of us do not give thought about truly KNOWING who we are. We grow up believing we are what we feel and think. Have you ever had a time where you think about WHY we feel or think this way or behave a certain way? Have you went gone further than a thought or feeling or just accepted them?
You may have heard people making statements like: "I have always been this way", "my mom was like this and my grandma, it's just who I am", "I just have an anger issue", "I haven't been that way since middle school". Many do not tap into asking WHY? Why do I feel this way?. They accept these statements, feelings and failures, as their identity instead of asking is this me? Do I really want to be this way? or Why am I thinking this?.
We also may not want to know ourselves. I spent the majority of my life not being "alone" with myself. I don't think I knew at all that I was doing it. But I do feel I was embarrassed, ashamed or just unhappy with who I was, or who I thought I was. In actuality I was a "good girl" but I wasn't a "true to myself" girl. I compared myself with others that were not choosing life. So I was a failure even if I was "good" because they didn't accept me. Truly "acceptance" back then was an 'agree with me' or 'hang out with me' point of view.
Part of hiding myself was the fact that I had some abuse growing up and it carried with me. It made me feel less than and not accepted by anyone that "acted" like they accepted me. It was a belief I created and believed from age 2. "I am unacceptable." This led to a life of rejection from myself and others.
So there may be many reasons why you may not be tapping into knowing yourself. Many things hindering you to have the courage to SEE it and to HEAL it. To me, I believe this is why we need the "blood flowing in" the heart. As our analogy of the natural heart, it's the LUNG (God) and the BODY (community) that will help us be the best version of ourselves.
BLOOD FLOWING INTO OUR HEARTS
WE NEED GOD.
Our creator knows us the best. He truly speaks to us intimately when we give Him the time and space to do so. He knows our present, past and our future. What better person to have on your side!
I remember one of the first times God revealed something to me with just Him and I involved for my heart. It was something to the effect of "you get angry at people when they don't do what you want". This sounds bad, right?!? It did to me at the time too. But we must take the next step. Asking ourselves why do I do this?, what am I believing? etc. He showed me it was out of a place of rejection. I would hurt and reject them before they could me. All stemming from the lie I adopted at age 2 "I am unacceptable".
Give it a try. Sit and chat with Him and ask Him for any area of your heart that needs His presence. And WATCH Him answer. Remember His voice is so vast and so beyond our thinking but simple enough to reach us where we are at! His voice will not go against His nature written within His word and the truth that HE IS FOR YOU! (If you need more in this area, message me!)
WE NEED COMMUNITY.
We are encouraged to have community, connect or meet up groups for almost every area of our lives. I think doing it for self awareness and growth is a must as well. You may have heard of the blind spot theory. Every person has a blind spot that they are unaware of or may be intentionally ignoring. There's most likely something within us that we don't fully understand, have no desire to change, or it is simply too hard to change so we accept it as is. You can find more about this in the Johari Window link, here. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johari_window
When others are around us, we must see it as an opportunity for ourselves to be revealed. The blind spot can be seen. If you are married, live with a family or have kids, you may know very well what comes up when others are in your "space". It's revealing. It can be used for good, where you acknowledge, accept and work for change, or you can hide and work to keep it away from others' influence. Either way you are using up energy and most likely more when you have to keep it hidden. I do believe the truth will manifest at some point of your life, so why not make it intentional and not have it revealed outside of your control.
Doing our part - "GUARDING OUR HEARTS"
What do we do individually to help or hurt our own hearts? How do we see our hearts? Our souls? Do we take it serious? To protect and heal it as we do our bodies? Let's dig into this a little further.
Self preserving vs guarding our hearts
Protection. Self preservation.
This may take a bit of chewing to process. Protection is part of our job with "guarding our hearts" but protection is not only our job.
Many take pride in choosing to protect themselves and believing it's the right thing to do. Creating walls to not let people hurt them or to keep themselves safe. Stating things like: I won't be letting them near me again, he won't be doing this to me anymore, she will never say that to me again, or I was stupid letting them in and it won't happen again. These are walls. They don't let ANYONE in. Good or bad. God or the enemy. A wall is up and it doesn't move. (All my boundary lovers, hang in, we will discuss those below)
This may sound good when we say it BUT WE MUST GO DEEPER TO UNDERSTAND AND KNOW OURSELVES and know where we are at when we set up this wall. We need to ask questions like: 1. What did this person do to me? 2. Have I forgiven this person? 3. Do I feel I need to forgive this person? 4. Does this person deserve punishment? 5. Have I surrendered control of the situation and the person? 6. Does TRUST in God have any play with my decision?.
These questions should reveal your heart. Is it pure or is it out for vengeance from a wound? Are you able to have a love feeling when you think of that person or is it a hit in the gut feeling or hit them feeling? Whenever we are not "healed" from a hurt, we make decisions out of the ME mentality and the vengeance state of being. The "hard gut hit" is usually our souls/heart saying they are CRAP, and don't speak to them. This is not the empowered or overcoming choice.
When you make a decision it should be from empowerment and not a judgement. From forgiveness and not from condemning. From love and not from hate. For me, I have this rule. I personally do not trust myself 100% when I am hurt. I have learned the hard way that I JUST MIGHT not know everything. LOL This is where we need the "blood flowing" in, as in the natural heart analogy. The blood comes from the lungs (God) and from the body (community). We need God and/or a third party to intervene and give us insight when we are hurt. I turn to someone that is an expert in the field I am in or invite God to correct me. If I don't hear anything from God, I usually will still invite another to speak into the situation before I respond or make a decision. To me, this is being true to ourselves and taking care of ourselves and the world! Honestly I believe it is a life long process of learning and revealing to know ourselves. So don't get overwhelmed here. Walk it out.
Guarding our hearts!
So if we can't protect ourselves this way, how do we keep ourselves safe? We must learn that our hearts truest desire is connection. Instead of a wall, lets build boundaries. Boundaries should always have the other person in mind and not just ourselves. Boundaries are given to protect the connection and not to keep out. It leaves a space for redemption and hope. Division and strife are not part of redemption and hope. They are NOT kingdom! They are part of the enemy's scheme of "accusing the brethren". Don't have a play with him. Shoot for connection, redemption and hope!
Let me know what you think. Anything you disagree with and what I might can add! Chat with you soon!
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This blog is written in hopes to inspire you to be an amazing YOU! To be real, honest, loving and kind. First to YOURSELF and then to others!